Discussing what might happen after you die can be a difficult conversation for many people. And this is perfectly understandable, as it can be an emotionally charged subject to talk about with your friends and family.
You may also feel you have enough going on in your day-to-day life without starting to think ahead about what you’d like to happen after you’re gone.
But this could have some serious repercussions. According to Today’s Wills and Probate, about 10,000 people in the UK contest a will every year.
Having some upfront conversations with your family could help to prevent any disputes and ensure that your estate is distributed according to your wishes after you’re gone.
A timely conversation about your plans could help to manage expectations
Estate planning is an important part of your financial strategy. But talking it through with a financial planner is one thing; sitting down with your loved ones and taking them through it is another.
Discussing your personal finances can feel uncomfortable, and once you add inheritance and mortality into the mix, it can feel like a conversation you’d rather put off.
And it seems that many people are doing just that. According to FTAdviser, a quarter of people over 55 have never openly discussed inheritance with their family, despite two-thirds having witnessed a dispute over inheritance.
Avoiding the conversation doesn’t make the issue go away. It can simply set your family up for potential problems, complications, and expense, all at an already emotionally fraught time.
3 good reasons to have the estate planning conversation with your loved ones
1. Making sure your wishes are followed
Families can be complicated. Divorce, remarriage, and blended families are all incredibly common. Plus, you might want to leave part of your estate to friends or charity. So, a conversation upfront can help to make it clear how you’d like to leave your assets and address any assumptions.
This is your chance to explain your reasoning, too, helping your loved ones to understand your thinking behind any potentially controversial decisions.
You can also set all of this out in a letter of wishes. Unlike your will, this isn’t a legal document, but it can support the statements in your will and allow you to elaborate on any aspects you’d like to give a further explanation to.
However, it’s still important to actually have the in-person conversation. This means your loved ones can ask questions, giving you the time to answer them fully and leaving nothing unaddressed or open to interpretation.
2. Identifying and confirming roles
The role of an executor can be pretty demanding, with an abundance of paperwork and admin meaning it needs to be taken on by someone with the time, capability, and patience.
It’s a role that’s also set to get even more complex soon, when unused pensions will be included in an estate for the first time in April 2027. This means tracking down all pensions, possibly dealing with multiple pension providers, requesting valuations, and calculating any Inheritance Tax (IHT) owed.
Your conversation can help you ascertain that you’re happy with those whom you’ve appointed to be executors, at the same time ensuring they understand the demands of the role and are happy to take it on.
You can also use this as an opportunity to gauge whether your ideas for distributing your estate will support your loved ones in the best possible way.
While a standard approach to estate planning often focuses on the traditional inheritance after death, there could be other, more productive methods. For example, if certain members of your family are struggling financially, lifetime gifting could be a more practical type of support.
Read more: Your guide to the new Inheritance Tax and pension rules
3. Helping your loved ones to plan
Even if you’re incredibly thorough, an undiscussed estate plan can often lead to confusion or even disappointment. For example, if certain family members are expecting an inheritance that never comes, they could have delayed major events such as buying a home, and in turn this could lead to disputes when you’re gone.
Having the conversation first means that they can make their own informed financial planning decisions to meet their long-term goals.
Everyone’s conversation will be unique to their own circumstances. But as a general rule of thumb, you could:
Talk about your reasoning
Explaining the thinking behind your intentions is one of the best ways to manage expectations and keep disputes to a minimum.
For example, if you want to leave certain items to a friend because you know they have sentimental value to them, this can help your family to understand this is your wish, rather than coercion or influence.
Share practical information
It’s always a good idea to make sure that the right people know where your documents are, such as your will, any trusts or Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) documents, contact details for key professionals, and login information for your digital assets.
Lay out any responsibilities
Make sure anyone you’ve nominated as an executor understands the full demands of the role, as we outlined earlier. But you can also explain to others why you’ve chosen certain people to take on these duties, so they understand your thinking.
For example, a very close family member may find it too upsetting to deal with admin and paperwork after your death, and you can explain that you’re trying to shield them from further pain, rather than excluding them.
Get in touch
Estate planning can sometimes be a difficult subject to tackle, but we’re here to help. If there’s anything you’d like us to support you with, please email us at info@servoprivatewealth.com or call 01444 715200.
Please note
This article is for general information only and does not constitute advice. The information is aimed at individuals only.
All information is correct at the time of writing and is subject to change in the future.
The Financial Conduct Authority does not regulate estate planning.
Any links will direct to a third-party website and Servo Private Wealth is not responsible for the accuracy of the information or content contained within linked sites.
Approved by Best Practice IFA Group Limited on 13/08/2026.